Family is Forever.....

I'm drinking my coffee out of a cup that proudly pronounces "Family is Forever." A sweet gift from my daughter, Gracee, on my birthday this year. As I sip my coffee, I'm reminded that there are two sleeping babies in my house, who at the tender ages of 8 and 5 are learning the hard lesson yet again, that Family isn't always forever. We had their moving party last night, move number 27 in their young lives. Each move with it's own set of grief and sorrow built in, loss of dads, toys, clothes, moms and this time loss of a family they love. This time, we hope we can teach them a different way, a way to continue to be connected to the family,their former foster family, while learning to let our family love them. Every loss has taken it's toll in different ways. Our 8 year old boy is angry. He should be. He has every right to be angry that these sayings like "Family is Forever" have never once applied to his life. I'm angry for him. Angry that he's been failed so, so many times in his short little life and that he expects us to fail him, too. But, as we've learned through our other adoptions, grief is a positive sign. He can attach, he knows love, he can love. For that, I praise Jesus. Our boy is a fighter and we will join him and fight for him to heal. Our 5 year old girl hasn't fared as well with the losses in her life. She's not angry. She doesn't cry or get sad. It's just the way of life in her world. You say good-bye and move onto the next "mama" life is offering. Always "mama shopping" as we call it. Always hugging and charming every woman in the room, just in case they are the next mama in the long line of mama's. But if it is God's will, we pray the line of Mama's stops here and she will have the opportunity to stop shopping and heal. Healing will be a long road for both of them. For all of us, really. This looks different than what we're used to..... trying to keep their first mom and foster family in their lives, while being the Forever Family they need. Not at all going to deny that I'm scared of failing. I told my friend I didn't know why God thought I was strong enough for this. She reminded me I'm not. God knows I'm not, but knows if I will just lean on Him, trust Him, He will give me strength and carry me when I just can't. First mom needs so much grace, but I'm reminded that so do I. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9 I'm not strong enough. I'll never be strong enough. But He is. Always. Only in Him, can Family truly be Forever.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Roller Coasters

Have you ever waited in line for a roller coaster at an amusement park? Lines of people weaving through those metal bars that separate the line so they can cram as many people as possible in an orderly line, in a super small space. Everyone excited, anticipating a wild and fun ride. On our kid's first visit to Six Flags they just couldn't wait to ride a roller coaster. Jon and I scanned the map, sure they were too small to ride the big rides. But the Screaming Eagle.... YES! They met the height requirement for the Screaming Eagle with a parent rider. We waited through the long line with the kids chattering non stop about how FUN this was going to be. Will and Gracee were seated right in front of Audree and me. Half way up the first hill, Gracee turned around and screamed "NO!!!!!!" Will looked at me and was too scared to even speak. Broke. My. Heart. All I could do was keep telling them Mommy was right here and hang on.... just hang on and this wild ride will ...
Read more

Skinned Knees

The summer I learned to ride a bike was rough on my knees. Multiple bike wrecks meant multiple cuts and scraps on my knees. Scabs would form, only to be ripped off during the next wreck. Sometimes, I just used a leaf to wipe the blood and off I'd go. That "not-so-hygienic-practice" resulted in a few nasty infections. Thankfully, our bodies are made to heal and the only physical reminders of that summer are a few scars.                                                                                                                    Abandonment is much like those skinned knees. Time heals that deep wound, but just when you least expect it, the scab is ripped off. Most of my childhood was spent in...
Read more

So, Here We Are Again.......

Image
I really never dreamed we'd be here, especially not at this age and stage in our life. But God, yeah He had other plans for us. Good and perfect plans. I keep reminding myself of that, especially now as we get closer to our court date. More people are giving us "the talk." If you have a big family, you know the one. The..... what about spending time together, what about retirement, what about your adult kids, what about college for your kids at home.... I get it. Really, I do. Life is full of unknowns for us. But guess what..... so is everyone else's life. Life is but a vapor and can vanish in a moment. Did I do all I could while I was here on earth? Isn't that the point? God wants me to live an abundant life, full of His goodness and grace. I know that TRUTH. So, here we are again...... Waiting on court. Transitioning two little treasures to our home, our lives and into our family's hearts. Is it hard? Yes. It's so hard some days. Bu...
Read more